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Adventures in Postmodern Dreaming, Part II - Lost In Miller's Cave
Buried, Not Dead.
Adventures in Postmodern Dreaming, Part II
It was the spring of 2008, and for reasons unknown I was attending my ten-year high school reunion. Since none of my friends had decided to show up, I was wandering around the hotel in a tasteful pinstripe jacket, white gloves, and my favorite bolo tie meditating on the sheer pointlessness of coming when I ran into none other than:

Peter Jennings.

Turns out that not only was Peter Jennings alive, but he was organizing the event (note: I did not graduate with Peter Jennings, as he was already an established primetime TV journalism superstar by then). After some small talk in which I managed to dodge the inevitable "so what have you been up to?" question, he invited me to go on a booze run with him.

Suddenly, we were standing in the old town Buehler's (Ohio folks may recognize this place) surrounded by various former classmates with shopping carts. At least half of my graduating class must have been involved in the operation. However, this didn't seem like overkill since the managment at Buehler's had been kind enough to remove all solid food items from their shelves and replace them with alcohol and cocktail ingredients.

As we directed our legion of hooch gophers like cops standing in so much traffic, Peter turned to me and asked, "Thom, which would you rather exclusively drink at the party: beer, root beer, or Pinot Grigio?"

"Pete," I said, "is that all you're getting? I guess I'd drink the beer, but then I could mix something into the root beer."

"Like what?" he said with a laugh. He was wearing a floral print apron now, for some reason.

"Well, vodka is the universal cocktail solvent. I suppose Southern Comfort might work, too."

Suddenly, one of my former classmates began filling his cart with 80 proof bottles of SoCo. With a cry, I slapped a bottle out of his hand.

"The fuck, man!" I said, "Put those back. We are not throwing a fucking sorority ball." Grabbing a conveniently available broom to sweep up the broken glass, I turned back to my mate, Peter: "And why Pinot Grigio? That's a little specific compared to the other two, isn't it?"

He shrugged. "I'd rather have Chablis, myself."

After that we got to talking about our careers. Feeling bold, I asked him what professional route he would have taken had he not ended up a primetime TV journalism superstar. Turns out we both had dreams of becoming chefs. Then I woke up and fixed myself a bowl of Banana Nut Crunch. And a beer.

Additional note: I did graduate with a kid named Jennings. As I recall, he was kind of a prick.

Current Mood: awake awake
Current Music: Megadeth - "Holy Wars...The Punishment Due"

3 comments or Leave a comment
inferno_girl From: inferno_girl Date: July 6th, 2006 03:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Wierd--I guess your dream inspired mine. Last night, someone in my dream randomly appeared in a flowered apron.

Remind me to tell you sometime about how I always dream about bathrooms.

<3 -me

PS: Hahaha, I got you hooked on Banana Nut Crunch! It really is the best.
viciousswackles From: viciousswackles Date: July 12th, 2006 10:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
a) I remember reading that Pinot Grigio has, like, the most flavinoids or whatev. that are good for your heart. YOUR HEART, SPECIFICALLY, THOM!

b) Hurray for Buehler's!!!
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